Embracing Self Giving

It is often said that we should be giving to others, helping those in need, and be nice to everyone we meet and not be so selfish. However, what if being selfish is actually the key to being able to give more to others?

Think about it. When we take care of ourselves, we are able to be at our best. We can then give more of our time, our energy, and our resources to others. We can be more present and mindful for them and be of more service. On the other hand, when we neglect our own needs, we are not at our best. We may be grumpy, resentful, and even sick. We certainly won’t be able to give as much of ourselves to others.

We all have moments where we put ourselves last. We put our work, our families, and our friends before our own needs. But what happens when we do this? We end up exhausted, stressed out, and resentful. Then we wonder why we can’t seem to get ahead or why our relationships are suffering.

We need to start giving to ourselves.

Yes, giving to yourself. It may sound selfish, but it’s not. It’s the only way to nurture your own needs so that you can be of greater service to others. Think about it this way: if you’re on an airplane, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. Why? Because you can’t be of any help to anyone else if you’re not taking care of yourself first.

The same is true in life. You can’t take care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself. And you can’t give your best to the world if you’re running on empty.

So how do you give to yourself?

We all have different needs and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to self-giving.

Each of us has our own unique needs, and it is important that we take the time to identify and meet them. This might look like taking a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed, saying no to commitments that are not in alignment with your values, or taking some time for yourself even when you’re busy.

It can be attending to one’s mental and emotional needs – practicing self-compassion, seeking coaching, counseling or therapy when needed. When we do, we are not only taking care of ourselves, we are also increasing our capacity to give to others. We are becoming more whole, more balanced, and more able to give of ourselves in a way that is sustainable.

Self-giving is not selfish, it is essential. When we take the time to nurture ourselves, we are better able to show up for others in a way that is supportive and helpful.

On this Giving Tuesday, let us remember when we are full, we can give from a place of abundance. When we take care of ourselves, we are taking care of the world. When we are our best selves, we can make the world a better place.